now making: LA kalbi i had to go outside today to run errands, mostly returning some things i'd impulsively bought online for christmas for my family members whom i still haven't seen in months. since the pandemic started, i've rarely gone outside, and it was nice to do so. it definitely put me in a better mindset. i put on the cure's disintegration and it made me feel better. i save pornography for the really sad days. i know it's terribly delayed, so it almost feels awkward to give them gifts at this point, but i guess i still will eventually as it feels just as awkward not giving them gifts. i've been a bit withdrawn and quiet lately, which is very typical of me when i'm depressed. i'm sure D has noticed by now, but i'm hoping it will pass before i have to bring it up. it's not a bad one this time, i think. i just don't want him to worry too much. today was one of my closest childhood friend's birthdays and i made sure to reach out to her and make sure she feels loved and special cuz well this year is one of those milestone birthdays. will be a milestone birthday for me as well, along with my other two besties, so it's definitely a year to put in a little more. i have three besties, two whom i met in high school, and one in college. they're all basically like my sisters, and essentially the only female friends who i still have a certain level of closeness to, no matter how long we've gone without speaking. also i'm still cooking so i know all hasn't gone to shit yet. i made clams in white wine, garlic and butter and served it with udon, and i'm marinating some short ribs at the moment. i think all the smoothies, overnight oats, and instant healthy meals got me in a mood to cook and eat real food, which is good. by the way, the rice cakes turned out pretty damn good. oh, so i'm thinking maybe i need to start taking the full dosage of fluoxetine. i've been only taking half of my prescribed dose since any more has caused annoying sexual side effects. i did try the full dose for a bit a while back without much luck, but i might as well give it another go. 7:19 p.m. - 2022-01-31 |
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